The end of a relationship can bring about a range of emotions. If you have been unhappy for some time, then it may be a time of relief but if you were not the one to end things, you may be wondering what went wrong and where to go from here. If you have children with your now ex partner, it is important to try to remember your children throughout the separation process.
Why Did The Relationship End?
Whilst you are separating and even long after the separation, you may have lots of questions about why the relationship broke down. Not having the answer to these questions may even make you apprehensive about letting a new partner into your life for fear this new union suffering a similar fate. For that reason, it is important that you take some time to think about what went wrong.
A relationship can slowly sour or something sudden can change the relationship and both of these factors can lead to the end of the relationship.
The slow decline of a relationship often occurs when each person in the couple begins to realise that they want different things from life. Maybe one person wants to work and earn more money whilst the other may be focussed on spending time as a family. This can cause the couple to slowly drift apart as they try to deal with their differences. Sometimes its difficult to pinpoint the exact reason why the relationship is failing and so some couples may opt to stay together for the sake of the children. This is never a good idea in the long run as children pick up on the tension between their parents and may even develop similar mental health issues as adults such as depression.
A sudden change within the relationship such as one partner being unfaithful to the other, a new job or even the death of a family member can cause the relationship to break down quickly.
Coping With Changes
When you realise that things aren't going as well as you think they should, you begin to use coping strategies. Within a declining relationship, this could mean that you stay with your partner even though you are unhappy so that the children do not have to deal with a broken family. You may find that the parents find distractions to help them to cope, for example drinking or looking to other people to help them to cope with the way they feel within the relationship. Ultimately, the final decision would be to end the relationship.
Ending a relationship suggests that there is no way that a couple can find a way to put aside their difference or to find a common ground within the relationship. This can often lead to bitter feelings of resentment against the other person in the relationship as each party blames the other for the relationship not working out.
Moving On From A Breakup
Before you move on from a failed relationship, you should try to analyse the way that you acted in the situation that you were in instead of simply thinking about the part the other person had to play. Just because it ended doesn't mean that you can't be happy with someone else in the future but you must make sure that you think carefully about what went wrong so that you don't make the same mistakes again. Some people go as far as seeking counselling to help them to understand why this happened. Although this seems like quite an extreme step to take, it can help you to identify the main points that you may need to work on in future relationships.
The main thing to remember is that although it is over, you can move on and you can be happy again. No one is completely to blame in the break down of a relationship. Blaming yourself will only lead to negative emotions, mental health issues and shattered confidence. Although you may miss your ex partner at first, you must consider that you are strong as an individual and do not need a partner to define who you are or to make you strong.
