Changing A Child's Surname - What Is The Law?

If you or your ex wants to change the child's surname, what happens? Do you know the law? What happens if you or your ex disagrees with the change of surname?

Changing A Child’s Surname – What Is The Law?

By

Separation not only means that a child’s family ends up broken, but in some cases, one of the parents will want to change the child’s surname too.  Whilst this may be a decision welcomed and understood by the child, often, it can be damaging to a child’s identity.  If you or your ex wants to change the child’s surname, what happens?  Do you know the law?  What happens if you or your ex disagrees with the change of surname?

Why Would Someone Want To Change A Child’s Surname?

Often, children have a family name, especially when the parents are married to each other.  When you split up, the child’s mother may want to start using her maiden name again.  She may also choose to get remarried at some point. Often, woman like to change the child’s surname with their so that the child can have her new family name.

The Name Changing Procedure

You can appoint a solicitor or McKenzie Friend so help you with a child’s name change.  The parent who wants to make the change should ensure that they make contact with the other parent to get permission.  In an amicable separation, it is easy to get permission from the other parent as the child’s needs are understood.  In other cases however, it is appropriate for the father to ask that the child keeps his surname and in that situation, it is the father’s legal right to oppose the name change.

Changing A Surname Without Permission or When The Other Parent Refuses

If one parent disagrees with a name change, the other parent does not have the right to make the surname change anyway.  If the parent makes a change to a child’s name without the consent of the other parent, then that parent can apply to the court to change it back.  In making the decision about whether or not the child’s surname should be changed, the court will assess the interests of the child and will make an order based on whether it would be detrimental to the child’s identity to change the surname.

Divorcing Couples

When parents divorce, it is usually the court’s decision to leave the child’s surname as it was when the parents were married, especially if the parents were married for a long time.

Separating Unmarried Couples

You will probably be treated as though you were married if you were living together for a long time before your separation.  It is often ruled that the father’s name should be kept to maintain the connection.

If you have not lived together as a family for long or at all, then this could be different.  It may be decided that the child should have the same surname as the mother and her new husband and other children in the household if the mother has additional children after the separation.  The court call this a sense of belonging.  If you are a father who is not registered on the birth certificate, then it is even more likely that the court will favour the mother’s decision.

The best way to deal with a potential change of surname is to try to talk to your ex partner about it.  Explain why you think a change of surname is a good idea, or why you would oppose one.  If you disagree to the name change, you must be clear in explaining this.  If your ex still wants to go ahead with the name change, you may need to go to court so that a judge can decide what is best for the child.

Handling Arguments Around Your Children

By

If you have split from your partner, it’s quite normal that you will have bad feelings towards him or her.  Getting along won’t be easy, but when you have a child together, you’ve not really got a choice.  Either you try to communicate effectively or you find that problems develop and that’s how you end up in court trying to sort out contact with your children because you’re unable to agree.  But sometimes, in trying to talk about issues, parents find that communicating can lead to arguments.

You need to remember that no matter how badly you or your ex are dealing with the separation, your children will be feeling much worse.  Suddenly, the family that they’ve known is breaking up and they find themselves caught up in the middle of arguments.

This is a situation that is completely out of your child’s control and your focus must be on making sure that your child’s welbeing is a top priority.  Arguing with the other parent in front of your child will only cause your child to feel stressed and torn between the two of you.

Hiding Arguments

Good parenting calls for both parents to stick together, making joint decisions and being united in their parenting.  If you argue with your ex in front of your children, then this breaks down the united front that you should be trying to maintain.

This isn’t to say that you can’t have disagreements with your ex, and even if you can’t help but communicate argumentatively with your ex, there is no reason why your children should be caught up in the middle.  Having these kinds of heated discussions away from your children will ensure that they don’t have to witness the animosity.  It’s all part of making sure that your child has the stability and safety that they need.

The Effects That Parental Arguments Have On A Child

A lot of people have recollections of witnessing adults arguing in front of them when they were children.  If you think back to one of these times, you may remember feeling a range of emotions including feeling scared, sad and insecure.

Whilst it will not be your child’s fault that your relationship ended, often children do blame themselves for the end of their parents’ relationship.  What you need to do is reassure your child that you and their other parent can get on and that you will continue to communicate and coparent even though you are no longer together.  Although this may be difficult, this is a big part of parenting when you are separated.

Arguing Constructively

Arguments are sometimes unavoidable and can work out well if you approach them correctly.  This can be a time for you and your ex partner to communicate any concerns or worries and when you each have an equal chance to discuss your viewpoint about a situation, this can give you the ability to change your exes mind about something or can help you both to reach an agreement.

When you communicate with your ex, make sure that you have thought carefully about the way that you are going to talk about the subject and try to stay calm.  Think before you react to anything that your ex says and if things do become heated, remember that you can walk away and try to communicate another time.

One effective way of communicating without as large a chance of an argument is via text or email.  If you do this, then there is a ‘paper trail’ so to speak so that if there are any misunderstandings along the way, you can look back at what was typed.  This also avoids the temptation to have a shouting match which is just a very bad way to communicate.

Mediation

If you are still struggling to communicate but you and your ex still think that you’d like to settle your issues by talking to one another, you could try mediation.  This would involve attending a MIAM first so that you know what to expect at future meetings and then when you do meet with your partner to talk things through, there will be a professional with you who can help you to communicate effectively.

Mediation is not only a great way of settling any problems in your parenting relationship but it can also help you to improve your communication techniques so that in future you will be able to talk to one another without the help of a mediator.

What Is A MIAM?

By

If you are thinking about going to court, you may need to attend a MIAM.  If you want to know more about what a MIAM is then read on as this article has all the information you need.

What Does MIAM stand for?

MIAM is short for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting.  It is usually refered to as MIAM but you may also hear people call it a first meeting.

The MIAM is an initial meeting with a mediator.  Whether you are planning to enter into mediation with your ex or if you simply need to begin the court process, you will need to attend one of these unless you are exempt.

What Happens At The MIAM?

This first meeting will give you vital information about the mediation process.  You will meet with a qualified mediator who is specially trained to find out whether or not mediation would work for a couple or not.  Sometimes, communication has broken down to such an extent that the mediator may agree that it wouldn’t be appropriate to move forwards with mediation.

You will have the opportunity to extend an invitation to mediation to your ex.  If you are initiating the court process, this is not compulsory, but inviting your ex for mediation will give them a chance to let you know if they are open to communication.

Who Carries Out The MIAM?

Your MIAM must be carried out by an approved mediator.  Mediators are qualified and can guide you in making amicable decisions with your ex partner.  You must ensure that the mediator that you speak with is Family Council Accredited to ensure that your application to court will be accepted.

Who Is Allowed To Attend The MIAM?

You need to attend the MIAM for yourself, obviously, but if you wish, you can sometimes take another person with you.  This could be a new partner or a family member for support.  Not all mediators allow this, so you should check first.  If you like, you can even attend the MIAM with your ex if they agree.  This may mean that you don’t need to attend court if the two of you agree to move forwards with mediation.

If someone else attends the MIAM with you, you should be aware that this will be the only time that this will be allowed.  Mediation is intended for the family, so usually it will only be you and your ex who attends.  Sometimes, your children may be invited to mediation but this is not common.

Do You Need To Attend A MIAM?

If you want to take a case to court, it is likely that you will have to attend court.  Not all cases require a MIAM first however.  Sometimes, you may be exempt if for example you have experiences domestic violence in the relationship or if you are requesting a emergency hearing, you may not need to attend.

If you are the ex partner who is acting as the respondent in the case, you do not have to attend a MIAM.  Don’t worry if a case goes to court without giving you the opportunity to go to one.  if the court thinks that it would be beneficial, an order may be made for you and your ex to attempt mediation before moving forward in court.

How Much Should I Expect To Pay?

A MIAM and subsequent mediation sessions may be free for you if you are entitled to legal aid.  You will be able to talk to the mediator who will be able to advise you about legal aid.

Fees for mediation vary.  Your MIAM may cost between £60 and £200, although most people find that they won’t pay more than £100 for the session.  In addition to this, there is usually an added charge to have the relevant form signed in your C100 form.  This can cost between around £30 and £60.

What Happens After The MIAM?

Once you have attended a this first meeting, there are a few options.

You could continue with mediation if your ex agrees.  This would mean that you will need to attend mediation either with or without your ex present.

Alternatively, if you think that court would be appropriate, you will need to have the page in your C100 form completed and signed by the mediator.  If you have this page signed, you will only get one copy from the mediator but it is recommended that you photocopy this page so that you have plenty of copies. You will need at least 4 copies when you apply to court.

 

 

 

 

What is Parental Responsibility?

By

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase Parental Responsiblity in the past or perhaps you’ve only just heard it now that you are researching the court process.  If you want to know the answer to “what is parental responsibility?” then read on as this article will address this phrase and what it means.

What Is Parental Responsibility?

If you are a mother, then you automatically have Parental Responsibility.  If you are a father, then you may or may not have Parental Responsibility.  To find out whether or not you have it, make sure that you check out this link.

If you know that you have Parental Responsibility, you should be aware of your roles in your child’s life.  You are responsible for:

  • Providing a home for your child
  • Protecting and maintaining your child



It is important to understand that just because someone has Parental Responsibility for a child does not mean that they have a right to have contact with that child.  If you do not have contact with the other child, it is up to the other parent to keep you updated about the child’s wellbeing and their progress.

If you have parental responsibility, you are also responsible for:

  • Disciplining the child
  • Choosing an appropriate enducation for your child and ensuring that they attend school etc.
  • Making decisions about the child’s medical treatment
  • Choosing a name for the child and agreeing to any name change hat the other parent wishes to make
  • Taking care of the child’s property.

Whether you have parental responsibility or not, you should still ensure that your child is supported financially.  You should also keep up with maintenance payments even if you do not have contact.  If you are not happy with the amount of child support that the other parent is providing, parental responsibility does not give you the right to deny contact due to financial reasons.

Who Has Parental Responsibility?

By

Do I Have Parental Responsibility?

If you are the biological mother of the child, then you will have parental responsibility automatically as soon as your baby is born.

Fathers have Parental Responsibility (PR) if they are:

  • Married to the child’s mother at birth or conception
  • Named on the birth certificate (by either registering the birth with the mother, reregistering the birth with the mother’s permission to add his name to the birth certificate, or if the court orders that he is the father and the birth is then reregistered to include the father) for births registered on or after December 1st 2003.
  • If they have a parental responsibility order from the court
  • If they have a parental responsibility agreement with the mother.



Births That Are Registered in England and Wales

If a child is adopted jointly by a couple or if they are married at the time of the child’s birth, then they both have PR.  This PR remains even if the parents divorce later on.

Unmarried Parents

If you are a father who does not currently have PR, you have 3 ways in which you can gain it:

  • By registering the birth jointly with the child’s mother from December 1st 2003.
  • Asking the mother to sign a parental responsibility agreement.
  • Asking the court for a parental responsibility order if the mother refuses to sign an agreement.

Births That Are Registered in Scotland

If the father is married to the mother at the child’s conception or if he marries her thereafter then he automatically has PR.

From 4th may 2006 if an unmarried father is named on the child’s birth certificate at any point, he has PR.

Births That Are Registered in Northern Ireland

If the father is married to the mother when the child is born, then he automatically has PR.

If the father married the mother after the child is born then he has PR as long as he lives in Northern Ireland when the marriage occurs.

From 1th April 2002, if an unmarried father is named on the child’s birth certificate, he automatically has PR.

Births registered outside the UK

For any births that occur outside the UK and the child is brought to live in the UK then it depends on the country of the child’s birth as to whether or not the father has PR.


Same-sex parents

Civil partners

Both parents in a same sex relationship have PR for the child if they are in a civil partnership at the time of conception for example when IVF treatment occurs or at the time of donor insemination.

Non-Civil Partners

The parent who gives birth to the child will automatically have PR as above however the second parent will need to get parental responsibility by:

Applying for PR if the couple agree to sign a parental responsibility agreement.

Becoming a civil partner of the other parent and then reregistering the birth jointly with the other parent or making a parental responsibility agreement.

Are You Or Your Children At Risk Of Abuse From Your Ex?

By

Whenever a relationship ends, there are bound to be hurt feelings and a lot of tension between the parties but sometimes, a relationship breaks down due to some form of abuse.  If you have been in an abusive relationship and are separating from your partner, you must make sure that you take the necessary steps to protect yourself and your children from harm.

Make A Police Report

The first thing that you must do if you haven’t already is to contact the police.  Abuse is a serious allegation but if you are bing abused, you will need to be able to prove this in court.  The best way to do this is to have police involvement.  When the abuse occurs, you should contact the police and tell them what has happened.

One or two police officers are likely to attend your home address to talk to you about what has happened.  Try to remain calm and be honest about your version of events.  You may need to make an official statement.  The police officer who is dealing with the complaint will give you a crime reference number.  This is important and you will need to keep this safe so that you can use it as evidence that you have tried to do something to protect yourself and your children.

End The Relationship

You are important.  Nobody is allowed to hurt you physically or emotionally.  Controlling behaviour  and physical violence are both damaging and can have severe consequences if you stay in a relationship like that. When there are children involved, the danger is even greater as dependant children are not able to get away from the situation in the same way that an adult can and they certainly can’t fight back.  You should make an effort to break away from the relationship if you find that you are in an abusive relationship.

You don’t have to go it alone.  There are agencies such as The National Domestic Violence Helpline amongst others who will be able to advise you about what to do.  Stay strong and remember that you are doing the best thing for your children.



Following The Separation

If you are the mother, it is likely that the children will stay with you.  You should ensure that you explain to their school or nursery that you have separated from the father and that you do not want him to collect the children.  It is likely that the school or nursery will honour this request.  If you have difficulties with this, you should apply to court for a Prohibited Steps Order.  This would allow you to stop the children’s father from collecting them from school.  Once this order has been granted, you can give a copy to the school so that they will enforce it.

If your ex partner wants to ask the court for an order for contact, they are entitled to do this, but you will have your chance to explain your version of events and why you don’t feel that it is safe for your children to spend time unsupervised with your ex partner.

Going To Court

If you want the children to still have a relationship with their father but you want this to be as safe as possible, you can apply to the court.

A child arrangements order can be obtained to establish an order for contact.  If you explain to the court that the relationship broke down due to violence or abuse and use the police reference number as evidence that you have reported the crime, then the court may consider only allowing contact in a contact centre.  Contact Centres often facilitate supervised contact so someone will be in the room with your ex partner and the child or children at all times.  This can be a way to ensure that the children are safeguarded during contact with the other parent.

Going to court to allege abuse doesn’t necessarily mean that the court will grant the order you’re asking for.  You and your ex partner will most likely be subjected to a report by CAFCASS and this will help the court to decide what level of contact would be appropriate if any.

 

Support When Attending Court

By

When you go to court, it’s a good idea to make sure that you’re prepared.  You don’t need to have a solicitor with you and you may find that not using a colicitor may actually be beneficial.  For a start, you won’t have to pay extortionate fees to a solicitor to do something that you can actually do for yourself and you won’t need to worry about chasing up a solicitor or being delayed because you can’t get hold of your solicitor.

Self Representation

If you are representing yourself then you are known as a Litigant in Person.  With the cessation of Legal Aid where some people were entitled to financial support towards the use of a solicitor, it is now becoming more common for people to represent themselves in court.  You won’t be treated any differently than if you had a solicitor but because you are not legally trained, you may simply find that you have to do a lot of research and ask a lot of questions in the right places before you get to court.

Support in Court

It’s really important that you leave people outside the courtroom if they have a vested interest in the case.  It’s inappropriate to take a new partner to court for example as the case about your children should be about you and the child’s other parent.  Bringing other people with you, especially a new partner or other family members may be seen to be either causing trouble or that you can’t cope alone.  If you must take someone with you, you should choose an impartial friend who is able to help to keep you calm and preferably someone who is knowledgeable when it comes to family law.  Often, you will not be allowed to take anyone else into the courtroom with you but if you have a McKenzie Friend, you will need to tell the court that you want to bring them into the court room with you and then it will be up to the courtroom staff to decide whether or not you should be allowed to do this.



What Can A McKenzie Friend Do?

If you are allowed to take a McKenzie Friend into court with you, you should be aware that they will not be able to speak for you, address the court or cross examine the other party.  What they can do is take notes for you, help you do organise your documents and pass you the right document when you need to refer to it.

Ending A Relationship

By

The end of a relationship can bring about a range of emotions.  If you have been unhappy for some time, then it may be a time of relief but if you were not the one to end things, you may be wondering what went wrong and where to go from here.  If you have children with your now ex partner, it is important to try to remember your children throughout the separation process.

Why Did The Relationship End?

Whilst you are separating and even long after the separation, you may have lots of questions about why the relationship broke down.  Not having the answer to these questions may even make you apprehensive about letting a new partner into your life for fear this new union suffering a similar fate.  For that reason, it is important that you take some time to think about what went wrong.

A relationship can slowly sour or something sudden can change the relationship and both of these factors can lead to the end of the relationship.

The slow decline of a relationship often occurs when each person in the couple begins to realise that they want different things from life.  Maybe one person wants to work and earn more money whilst the other may be focussed on spending time as a family.  This can cause the couple to slowly drift apart as they try to deal with their differences.  Sometimes its difficult to pinpoint the exact reason why the relationship is failing and so some couples may opt to stay together for the sake of the children.  This is never a good idea in the long run as children pick up on the tension between their parents and may even develop similar mental health issues as adults such as depression.

A sudden change within the relationship such as one partner being unfaithful to the other, a new job or even the death of a family member can cause the relationship to break down quickly.








Coping With Changes


When you realise that things aren't going as well as you think they should, you begin to use coping strategies.  Within a declining relationship, this could mean that you stay with your partner even though you are unhappy so that the children do not have to deal with a broken family.  You may find that the parents find distractions to help them to cope, for example drinking or looking to other people to help them to cope with the way they feel within the relationship.  Ultimately, the final decision would be to end the relationship.


Ending a relationship suggests that there is no way that a couple can find a way to put aside their difference or to find a common ground within the relationship.  This can often lead to bitter feelings of resentment against the other person in the relationship as each party blames the other for the relationship not working out.


Moving On From A Breakup


Before you move on from a failed relationship, you should try to analyse the way that you acted in the situation that you were in instead of simply thinking about the part the other person had to play.  Just because it ended doesn't mean that you can't be happy with someone else in the future but you must make sure that you think carefully about what went wrong so that you don't make the same mistakes again.  Some people go as far as seeking counselling to help them to understand why this happened.  Although this seems like quite an extreme step to take, it can help you to identify the main points that you may need to work on in future relationships.


The main thing to remember is that although it is over, you can move on and you can be happy again.  No one is completely to blame in the break down of a relationship.  Blaming yourself will only lead to negative emotions, mental health issues and shattered confidence.  Although you may miss your ex partner at first, you must consider that you are strong as an individual and do not need a partner to define who you are or to make you strong.

Child Maintenance

By

What is Child Maintenance?

Child maintenance payments are frequent payments to the resident parent by the non resident parent to assist with the maintenance of the child.  The resident parent is the parent with whom the child lives with for the majority of the time whilst the non resident parent may have overnight contact with the child but for fewer nights than the child is at the other parent’s home.

In order to ensure that these payments are made reguarly and on time, the parents must come to an agreemant.  This is called a maintenance agreement.  Your payments may be managed by the Child support agency for claims that were initiated before 2012, but after this time, it will be the chils maintenance scheme.  CMS require a fee of £20 for anyone applying to initiate child support payments.

Maintenance Agreements

You could come up with a maintenance agreement with your ex partner.  This is an agreement that is made out of court and you can put it into writing once you have decided on the amount that will be paid.  This is great in principle as it will encourage you and your ex to communicate constructively as well as keepig the matter out of the court room, but there are times where it won’t work.  If circumstances between the two of you change, for example if you begin to earn more or less or if the non resident parent has more overnight contacts than when the agreement was made then this can lead to disagreements.  Non payment of maintenance can also become a costly problem as these agreements must be resolved in a civil court.  As well as being expensive to resolve these disputes, it can also take a long time.



How Much Child Maintenance Should I Pay?

Income

Your income is taken into account before tax and national insurance contributions have been deducted.  This is known as your gross income.  If you ar slef employed, the amount you will need to pay is calculated using your taxable profits.

If you apply to the CMS to calculate the payments made then they will calculate the amount that will need to be paid.  If you would prefer, you can also come up with an agreement of your own with the other parent.  If you are unable to agree then you should use the CMS guidelines.

It should be noted that there are some circumstances where the normal rules for calculating the amount of maintenance to be paid will not apply.

Exemptions or Deductions

If you fall into one or more of the following categories, you may not have to pay any or to pay a reduced rate of child maintenance:

  • If your gross weekly income is below £7
  • If you are in prison
  • If you are less than 16 years old
  • If you are enrolled in certain government approved training and are aged between 16 and 19 years old
  • If you are in full time further education and aged between 16 and 19 years old
  • if  you receive income support or certain other means tested benefits and ages between 16 and 17 years old
  • If you are part of someone elses claim for one of the aforementioned benefits and ages between 16 and 17 years old
  • If you receive help with fees for a care home or hospital where you currently reside

Shared Parenting

Some people are entitled to a reduction in their payments if they have their children overnight.  This must be at least 1 night per week on average and often, the CMS will ask for a copy of a court order to prove this.

Some parents have a 50/50 care arrangement.  If you share care of your children equally with the other parent then neither parent will pay maintenance to the other.

The reduction in payments is usually worked out by reducing the payment by one seventh per night.

Children From A New Relationship

If you have children in a new relationship, you should let the CMS know immediately.  If the children are financially dependant on you then it is possible that your existing maintenance payments may be affected.



Final Payments

You should expect to pay child maintenance until the child is 16 years old.  If the child continues their eduction full time, then you will need to continue child maintenance payments until they complete their studies or when the child reaches 20 years of age.

Disputing Parentage

If a parent disputes parentage then the CMS will put the application on hold until the parents have reached an agreement about parentage.  There are some cases where it is not possible to dispute parentage with the CMS however:

  • If the father was married to the mother between the conception and birth of the child.
  • If the father is registered on the birth certificate either by registering the birth with the mother or with a court order
  • If a DNA test is refused by the alleged father or if a DNA test proves paternity
  • If the parents have signed a declaration of parentage
it is important that you clearly dispute parentage as soon as you receive communication from CMS otherwise you will be liable to pay child support.

Non Payment of Child Maintenance

There are a number of ways in which the CSA or CMS are able to ensure that earnings are enforced.  These include:

  • Direct deductions from earnings
  • A prision sentence of up to 6 weeks
  • Supension of a driving license

 

Help With Court Forms

By

When you apply to court, you will find that there are quite a number of forms to choose from.  For a lot of cases, there is just 1 form that you need to apply but if your case has additional elements, such as when you don’t know where your ex is or if there has been suspected abuse, then you will need to submit additional forms with the main C100.

We are happy to help fill out court forms to the court if you are struggling.  We can also advise on the forms that you’ll need to submit in order to get it right first time.  Our price list is transparent and fair.  As we give up our time to help out, we don’t mind offering pieces of advice for free on our blog but we ask for a small fee to cover our time when helping with applications.

We are happy to proofread what you have already written in any court forms and revise any sections that require it for a reasonable fee.

If you want to find out more about what we charge, please refer to our costs page.