We encourage those who come to us to keep their families together even after a breakup.  Dealing with the breakdown of a relationship, no matter how long the relationship lasted for, can be a difficult process for adults.  Even though it is the adults who have made the decision to separate, it is never easy for anyone involved.  When you consider this, it is easy to see how the impact that the breakdown of an adult relationship could have on the children within the family unit.

Whilst you struggle to deal with your own feelings, keep in mind that this break up is completely out of your children’s control.  They have been living in a household with 2 parents and suddenly, those 2 parents live at separate addresses and in some situations one parent may try to prevent the other parent from seeing the children so that they can maintain the same level of contact with their child as when the parents were still together.

What this can mean for the children involved is that they feel isolated and afraid.  They don’t want to have to pick sides, but in order to make one parent happy, they may push the other parent away or say things like “I don’t want to see the other parent” simply because they feel that this is something that they need to say to stay out of trouble.

In order to help your children to deal with the separation process as well as possible, it is cruicial that you do your best to establish a routine early on along with good communication with the other parent.  Good communication doesn’t mean that you have to be good friends or even friendly with the other parent, but the main thing is that you should remain as amicable as possible when it comes to discussing your children.

The court does not like having to intervene when it comes to family matters.  Sure, it has to happen frequently because parents find that they can’t agree on things, but the more that you can agree on without going to court, the better.

You should make sure that you pick your battles with the other parent so that your children don’t see you to be fighting all the time.  Although you are not in a relationship with the other parent any more, there is no rason why your children should be made to feel as though their family is complicated or that they shouldn’t or can’t see the other parent.

If you are struggling with communicating with your ex partner, or if you’re not sure how to move forward from your current situation, feel free to make a comment on this post and we will do our best to respond with some helpful advice.