It is a parent’s instinct to comfort their child when they are hurt or injured. If you are separated and don’t spend all your time with the child, then it can be even harder when the child is injured whilst in the other parent’s care. You may have distressed emotions when these incidents occur as it is something that is completely out of your control, but in spite of this, you can feel guilty that you weren’t there when the injury took place. Most of the time, accidents are minor and result in nothing more than a graze, cut or a bruise that will heal in just a couple of weeks.
Sometimes however, the injury is more than a simple scrape. When this happens, medical intervention is required. Occasionally, parents may believe that the child was hurt deliberately and this can be an even more distressing situation. You should make sure that you think carefully before you act in a situation like that so that you can be sure that you have all the facts first.
What Should You Do If The Child Is Hurt In Your Care?
It is inevitable that children will incur the odd scrape and scratch. If something like this happens, make sure that you apply appropriate first aid such as cleaning the wound and applying a plaster for example. When you come to the point where the child goes to the other parent to spend time, you should ensure that you explain the event and what you have done in response. This will ensure that the other parent knows exactly what happened so that they don’t jump to any conclusions and to keep up with good communication.
On the rare occasion that a more serious injury occurs, you should make sure that you seek appropriate medical attention immediately. Just as you would if you were still in a relationship with the other parent, you should seek professional medical attention as soon as you know that the injury requires more than simple first aid. Do not worry that you may be wasting time. Medical staff know that parents would rather be safe than sorry when it comes to their children’s wellbeing. As soon as you have decided what is going to happen, call your ex to let them know what has happened and where you will be taking the child. It may be enough for you to explain the situation, but in other situations, you ex may choose to come to the hospital or doctor’s surgery to support your child. Do not put up a barrier to this support. If it was the other way around, you’d want the opportunity to be able to comfort your child if they had to go to hospital.
If The Child Was Injured Whilst Not In Your Care
If your child becomes injured when they are not in your care, you should ask appropriate questions of the other parent. Make sure that you know what treatment they need and what medication they should be taking. This is especially important if you have contact with your child whilst they are taking a course of antibiotics for example.
in the event that your child becomes injured and requires medical attention, make sure that you don’t automatically start thinking that your child must have been injured maliciously. Think about how difficult it can be to avoid accidents in your care. No one is perfect and accidents do happen. In addition to this, if the other parent acts on an emergency situation but does not tell you about it until after the child is back home, try not to allow yourself to exhibit hurt feelings over not being able to console your child at that time. It can be difficult to remember other people when your child has been injured and it may just be an honest mistake made by the other parent in their panic to ensure that the child was ok.
Following any medical attention, you should communicate with your ex about the best way to care for your child to ensure that the child can make a full and speedy recovery.
Suspected Malicious Intent
If you believe that your child has been injured intentionally, it is normal and correct to show concern about this. The first thing to do is to contact the authorities and make a report. You will need to have your child examined by a professional. Professionals such as the police, your GP or the hospital staff are trained to deal with issues surrounding child welfare and they know the signs of accidental injuries vs intentional injuries. Once your child has been checked out, the professional will let you know how to proceed.
Accidents Happen
It is important to remember that injuries are not always malicious. Children are daring, fearless and adventurous. They will often get into situations that could cause injury, whether that is climing on play apparatus, running or playing sports. Accusing someone of deliberately harming a child is a serious allegation and one that could lead to the other person receiving a sentence. In addition, if you are found to be lying, you could be found guilty of a crime too as it is illegal to make false allegations. Even if you are not punished for making a false allegation, it will not stand you in good favour with a court. If you are certain that the injury was caused maliciously however, you should ensure that you have the situation investigated so that you can appropriately safeguard your child.
